Monologues

Part of the audition will consist of a short monologue. You can find a monologue on your own from any source you like: plays, movies, tv shows, etc. You are also welcome to browse and use one of the monologues below.

Click the title to see the monologue. Feel free to copy and paste the text into a separate document if that makes reading and printing it easier.

Antz: Zee

All my life I've lived and worked in the big city, which now that I think of it, is a problem since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it I have this fear of enclosed spaces, everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know I always tell myself there's got to be something better out there, but maybe I think to much. I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood, you know my mother never had time for me. You know when your a middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention, I mean how's it possible? And my job, don't get me started on, cause it really annoys me, I was not cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now, I feel physically inadequate, I, I, my whole life I've never been able to lift ten times my own body weight and when you get down to it, handling dirt is..... eeww, you know is not my idea of a rewarding career. I know I'm supposed to do everything for the colony, but what about my needs, what about me? The whole system out there just makes me feel... Insignificant!

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory: Slugworth

I congratulate you, little boy. Well done. You found the fifth Golden Ticket. May I introduce myself. Arthur Slugworth, President of Slugworth Chocolates, Incorporated. Now listen carefully because I'm going to make you very rich indeed. Mr. Wonka is at this moment working on a fantastic invention: the Everlasting Gobstopper. If he succeeds, he'll ruin me. So all I want you to do is to get hold of just one Everlasting Gobstopper and bring it to me so that I can find the secret formula. Your reward will be ten thousand of these. (he flips through a stack of money) Think it over, will you. A new house for your family, and good food and comfort for the rest of their lives. And don't forget the name: Everlasting Gobstopper.

Clueless: Cher

Everything I think and everything And now Josh hates me. It all boils down to one inevitable conclusion, I am just totally clueless... Oh and this whole Josh and Ty thing is wiggin' me more than anything. I mean, what is my problem? Ty is my pal, I don't begrudge her a boyfriend. What does she want with Josh anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint rock, he's not even cute in a conventional way... I mean, he's just like this slug that hangs around the house all the time! Ugh! And he's a hideous dancer, couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second, what am I stressing about, this is like, Josh. What would he want with Ty, she couldn't make him happy, Josh needs someone with imagination, someone to take care of him, someone to laugh at his jokes in case he ever makes any...the suddenly… Oh my gosh! I love Josh! I'm majorly, totally, crazy in love with Josh!

Collected Stories: Lisa

I’m really, really sorry. I was only trying to….I’ll put everything back the way it was…Well…good night professor. Sorry for any inconvenience…No! I don’t want a check! You don’t get it, do you? You know? I want so much to please you. You know? And no matter what I do, it’s wrong. I always seem to get your disapproval when it’s the opposite I want so badly. All these months, ever since school started, it’s been both wonderful and excruciating working for you. I mean, to be so close to you, when I admire you so much….But everyday I see you it’s like a test: What faux pas will I make? What will I do that will annoy her today? There is always something. Some invisible line I’ve crossed. Or, or something I’ve bungled out of sheer panic. You intimidate me so much. When I show you something I’ve written, or even when I talk to you I think, what value could my words possibly have to her? You’re so….I mean, I knew you were difficult – you told me as much. But you really seem to take pride in being difficult, though, and that I don’t understand. I’ve said too much. Look, maybe I’m just not cut out for this, you know? Maybe I’m not. My skin’s not thick enough. Oh, well…I’m sorry I touched your things. I thought you would appreciate it; I’m sorry. If you’re hungry, there’s dinner in the fridge.

Duck Soup: President Rufus T. Firefly

I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me if I didn't do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia in peace with the world. I'd be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino, and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesn't. A fine thing that'll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a forgein ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it - I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept. Why, the cheap ball-pushing swine, he'll never get away with it I tell you, he'll never get away with it!

Floating Rhoda and the Glue Man: Rhoda

I don’t want to fall in love. I want to brace myself and prepare. I want to look in both directions and see everything that’s coming. I don’t want to make anything up. I want to see exactly who the person is sans myth, sans romance, sans illusion. I want to say right from the start, well I like that about him, but that disappoints me, can I live with that. I want to say, oh look, ice cream makes him happy. That’s what he wants. Ice cream. Ice cream does not lead to class struggle. In fact he hates struggle. Ice cream is comfort. He craves comfort. We are different. We are not the same. I cannot make him into who I want him to be. He craves comfort. I long for struggle. This is not a match. He will not grow into the match. I cannot educate him into the match or force him or believe deep in my heart that deep in his soul he is desperate to come my way. That is fantasy. That is romance. That is falling. I don’t want to fall.

Labyrinth: Sarah

What do you want? You want a story? Okay. Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a spoiled child, and he wanted everything for himself and the young girl was practically a slave. But what no one knew was that the King of the Goblins had fallen in love with the girl and he had given her certain powers. So one night, when the baby had been particularly cruel to her, she called on the goblins for help. "Say your right words," the goblins said, "and we'll take the baby to the Goblin City, and you will be free." But the girl knew that the King of the Goblins would keep the baby in his castle forever and ever and ever, and turn him into a goblin. So the girl suffered in silence. Until one night when she was tired from a day of housework and she was hurt by the harsh words of her stepmother, and she could no longer stand it. Oh alright, alright! I'll say the words! Goblin King, Goblin King, where ever you may be, come take this child of mine far away from me!

Macbeth: Macbeth

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee!
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation
Proceeding from the heat-oppressèd brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going,
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' th' other senses,
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still,
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There's no such thing.

Say Anything: Lloyd

A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I don’t want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I don’t really know. I can’t figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter.

Star Wars Episode IV: Princess Leia Organa

General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my fathers request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I am afraid that my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrive it. You must see this droid saftly delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

The Muppet Movie: Kermit

Yeah, well, I've got a dream too. But it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. That's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And, well, I've found a whole bunch of friends who have the same dream. And, well, it kind of makes us like a family. You have anyone like that, Hopper? I mean, once you get all those restaurants, who are you gonna share it with? Who are your friends, Doc? Those guys? ...I don't think you're a bad man, Doc. And I think if you look in your heart, you'll find you really want to let me and my friends go to follow our dream. But if that's not the kind of man you are and if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense to you, well, then, go ahead and kill me.

The Princess Bride: Buttercup

I love you....I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more.  I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt then.  But ten minutes after that, I understood that my previous love was a puddle compared to the high seas before a storm.   Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days?  I will do that.  Do you want me to crawl?  I will crawl.  I will be quiet for you or sing for you. Dearest Westley--I've never called you that before, have I?--Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley,--darling Westley, adored Westley, sweet perfect Westley, whisper that I have a chance to win your love.

The Princess Bride: Buttercup

The four ships were never sent....Don't bother lying to me any more....It doesn't matter whether you sent the ships or not.  Westley will come for me. Yes, I am a silly girl and, yes again, I will go to my room, and you are a coward with a heart filled with nothing but fear....I'm getting much smarter as I age.  I say you are a coward and you are; I think you hunt only to reassure yourself that you are not what you are: the weakest thing to ever walk the Earth.  He will come for me and then we will be gone, and you will be helpless for all your hunting, because Westley and I are joined by the bond of love and you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.

The Princess Bride: Westley

To the pain....To the pain means this: if we duel and you win, death for me.  If we duel and I win, life for you.  But life on my terms....The first thing you lose will be your feet....The left, then the right.  Below the ankle. Then your hands, at the wrist.   Next your nose.  No smell of dawn for you.  Followed by your tongue.  Deeply cut away.  Not even a stump left.  And then your left eye--....Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish--every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries, 'Dear God, what is that thing?' will reverberate forever within your perfect ears.  That is what 'to the pain' means.  It means that I leave you to live in anguish, in humiliation, in freakish memory until you can stand it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this now, and live or die, it's up to you: Drop your sword!

Twelfth Night: Viola

I left no ring with her. What means this lady?
Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her.
She made good view of me; indeed, so much
That, as methought, her eyes had lost her tongue,
For she did speak in starts distractedly.
She loves me sure; the cunning of her passion
Invites me in this churlish messenger.
None of my lord's ring? Why, he sent her none.
I am the man. If it be so, as 'tis,
Poor lady, she were better love a dream.
Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.
How easy is it for the proper false
In women's waxen hearts to set their forms!
Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we,
For such as we are made of, such we be.
How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly;
And I (poor monster) fond as much on him;
And she (mistaken) seems to dote on me.
What will become of this? As I am man,
My state is desperate for my master's love.
As I am woman (now alas the day!),
What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe?
O Time, thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me t' untie.

UHF: Stanley

Hey, hey, I wanna, I wanna show you something, I wanna show you something. This's my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. It's a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my first mop, I miss my first mop. But, this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives you. 'Cause life is like a mop, and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff. Well, you, you gotta clean it out! You gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad that a mop is not good enough, a mop isn't good enough. You gotta get down there with a, with a toothbrush ya know! You gotta scrub, you gotta get it all off, you gotta really try to get it all off. And if that doesn't work, you can't give up! You gotta stand right up, run to the window and say: "Hey! The floors are dirty as heck, and I'm not gonna take this anymore!!"